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I’ve Never Known an Honorable Republican President

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I’ve Never Known an Honorable Republican President

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Today this graphic came across my social media feed that called for Democratic unity in future elections by pointing out how division in the Left between centrists and progressives led to the defeats of Humphrey by Nixon, Carter by Reagan, Gore by Bush, and Clinton by Trump.

There’s truth to that. I’ve already written much about our American electoral system that requires that we vote for “the lesser of two evils.” I’ve roasted the folks I call “Vote Tossers” who’ll support an impotent third party candidate so they needn’t compromise their pristine principles. I’ve hammered them for the responsibility they bear in enabling the greater evil to flourish to the ironic detriment of all the pristine principles they voted third party to support.

I quickly dashed off a tweet about how these Vote Tossers have enabled terrible Republicans to win elections literally my entire life, except for the time Vote Tossers for Ross Perot enabled Bill Clinton to win the presidency with only a plurality of votes.

That led me to this realization: I’ve never known an honorable Republican president.

I was born on the day of the Tet Offensive in the Vietnam War. The rest of my first year included the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy, the exposure of the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam, the violent protests of the Chicago Democratic convention, and finally, the election of Richard Nixon over Hubert Humphrey, the bastard who’d codify the racist drug war that I’m still fighting today.

Nixon, of course, resigned his presidency in disgrace. The first president elected in my lifetime. The Republicans to follow wouldn’t provide much more to be proud of. Ford pardoned Nixon, setting a precedent for not holding the last bastard to account. Reagan got caught up in the Iran-Contra scandal. HW Bush had the S&L Scandal. Dubya lied us into a war, let New Orleans drown, and crashed the world economy. Trump looked at all those guys and said, “hold my beer…”

Now, what have I experienced in Democratic presidents? Jimmy Carter is one of the few Christians I admire for actually walking the talk. What was his big scandal – admitting lust in his heart? the crazy bunny story? his drunken brother Billy? Bill Clinton, well, we know his big sin was playing hide the cigar with the intern and lying about it – oooh! Barack Obama, that guy had the audacity to wear a tan suit!

So fellow lefties, especially younger ones, please, for the love of America, learn some history, google Duverger’s Law, shut off your Russian-bot-packed social media feeds, and take it from this now-AARPable patriot: this November, vote Blue no matter who!

Yeah, yeah, lesser of two evils, corporate duopoly, two sides of the same coin, #DemExit, I know all your greatest hits and in some cases, I’ve sung them better than you. At this point in Trumpism, however, they’re starting to sound a lot like an oldie but goodie that was popular when I was born: we had to destroy the village in order to save it.

No matter what you think of corporate centrist Democrats, you cannot with a straight face tell me this country wouldn’t be in a better place now had there been a President Humphrey, President Carter, President Gore, and President Hillary Clinton than what we ended up with. If they really are two sides of the same coin, can’t you at least pick the side that isn’t so unrepentantly racist, misogynist, and homophobic?

The only check on Trump now is for Democrats to retake Congress in 2018, period. He’s stacked the Supreme Court, he’s packing the lower federal courts, and Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are never going to stop him so long as conservative billionaires are getting their agenda enacted. Your vote for some Green or some Libertarian is going to do jack squat to stop Trump and everything to deny a vote to someone who could actually create a majority that has subpoena power and the will to impeach.

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