My brother Josh made it to New York. Auburn, New York. He’s doing a theater internship there and I couldn’t be more proud. He’s keeping a journal of his time there, The Auburnium Compendium, so check it out if you’d like.

Here’s a clip (as they say in the biz):

In reality, however, the act of going to New York over the summer began when Megan, my vaguely ethnic friend, told me of her internship there. She told me there were more positions available and I jumped at the chance. I’m from Nampa, Idaho, as far away from oceans and the east coast and you can get. I’ve been to the Pacific coast, Portland and Seattle and the like, but never farther east than Colorado. I mean, logistically, I don’t care if I see the Midwest, mostly, and any farther than that is just too much money for me to spend. Growing potatoes is a hard lifestyle, you know.

And so began the petty groveling. I spent the next week appealing (appealing is a more fancy term for groveling) to my friends and family for enough money to buy me a plane ticket. My extended family acted as though I never existed. I brother Russ, a larger, older version of me (think Josh v1.0) gave me money in hopes that I would “get the hell out of Boise.”

Damn, I’m a 1.0 release? No wonder I’m so buggy. Somebody get me a service pack and some patches, stat! Now that I think about it, marrying my wife was kind of a service pack. Definitely an upgrade. Wait a second… I came first! I’m Russ 1.0 and you’re Russ 3.0 (I’m assuming our brother Matt is Russ 2.0)! With the patches and upgrades over the past twenty years, I’m Russ 1.51 SP 1. And still buggy as hell.

My hopes were brightened somewhat when my friend Patty (who was also in The Proposal) told me she would give me her free bonus ticket from Alaska Airlines, but I figured it was a pipe dream and continued with the belief that I wasn’t going. I told her to call and see if they had a flight available, but I didn’t keep my hopes up.

The next day Patti said she found a flight, and she had reserved it for me and signed her free ticket over to my name. Well, needless to say, I was ecstatic.

And that’s how Russ 3.0 made his way to upstate New York. I’m now pressuring him to go to New York City and see Spamalot on Broadway… and buy me a obnoxious yet tacky and overpriced souvenir.