Wow, this Jeff Gannon story sure is a lot of fun! I never thought I would see the day when right-wing pundits were coming to the support of a gay male prostitute. It’s a fascinating example of hypocritical contortion when you can use the gay-bashing “defense of traditional marriage” angle to get elected, then defend gay sexuality when it is one of your own. Here’s some of the best for you.

Radley Balko, writing about blogging on the Faux News website:

Likewise, many of the same leftist blogs that castigate the religious right for intolerance didn’t hesitate to reveal the sexual peculiarities of White House correspondent/sympathizer James Guckert (search ), aka Jeff Gannon.

Since when did prostitution — be it straight or gay — become a “sexual peculiarity”? And by “reveal”, do you mean we uncovered someone’s secret by stalking that person, hiding in the bushes outside their home, and taping their private conversations? Or are you referring to typing in “www.google.com” on a browser, entering “Jeff Gannon” into a search, and “revealing” numerous sites in the world wide web where this person had published pictures of their naked body as solicitation for paid sex?

Again, slowly for the righties: remember when you told us all that it wasn’t about Clinton getting a blowjob in the White House, it was about how he lied about it under oath? Okay, so follow — it’s not about the homosexuality, it’s about how a fake reporter with a fake name from a fake news organization can bypass White House security for two years, especially when said fake reporter operates a public business engaged in the illegal activity or prostitution.

But for true wingnuttery, we can always count on Ann Coulter:

The heretofore-unknown Jeff Gannon of the heretofore-unknown “Talon News” service was caught red-handed asking friendly questions at a White House press briefing. Now the media is hot on the trail of a gay escort service that Gannon may have run some years ago. Are we supposed to like gay people now, or hate them? Is there a Web site where I can go to and find out how the Democrats want me to feel about gay people on a moment-to-moment basis?

Ann, re-focus your gay-obsessed eyes past the word “gay” in that sentence and onto the word right next to it, “escort”, which we both know means “prostitute”. Are you supposed to like prostitutes now, or hate them? I don’t care, but perhaps you can explain how a prostitute manages to get a press pass. Especially a “heretofore-unknown” prostitute.

She’s trying to cloud the issue with a “liberals say they are for gays, except when gays are Republicans.” I’ve heard it before. It’s that same line they used with AbuGhraibo Quaintzalez and Kindasleezzy Lies — “liberals say they are for minorities, except when minorities are Republican.”

See, Ann, when you’re a liberal, you look past the color of a person’s skin or their choice of sexual partners and into the content of their character. To not oppose a supporter of torture, a liar on national security, and a prostitute who’s allowed to bypass security at the White House solely because they are Latino, African-American, or homosexual would be prejudice of the highest order.

She continues:

On the op-ed page of The New York Times, Maureen Dowd openly lied about the press pass, saying: “I was rejected for a White House press pass at the start of the Bush administration, but someone with an alias, a tax evasion problem and Internet pictures where he posed like the ‘Barberini Faun’ is credentialed?”

But Dowd was talking about two different passes without telling her readers (a process now known in journalism schools as “Dowdification”). Gannon didn’t have a permanent pass; he had only a daily pass. Almost anyone can get a daily pass — even famed Times fantasist Maureen Dowd could have gotten one of those. A daily pass and a permanent pass are altogether different animals. The entire linchpin of Dowd’s column was a lie. (And I’m sure the Times’ public editor will get right on Dowd’s deception.)

We can debate whether receiving a daily pass every day for two years straight qualifies as “permanent” or not. And not almost anyone can get a daily pass; she writes as if daily passes are handed out like candy. True, permanent (or “hard”) passes are more difficult to come by, but the daily passes still require some security check. From Raw Story I find the following requirements:

Permanent Pass:

1. Work for legitimate news organization (i.e., not a partisan front organization),
2. lives in Washington DC area,
3. requires regular White House access to perform duties (i.e., couldn’t file the same reports just standing outside the White House),
4. accredited by the Standing Committee of Correspondents to cover Capitol Hill,
5. intense background check by the Secret Service, requiring full legal name, Social Security number, date of birth, and much more.

Daily Pass:

1. Work for news organization (note lack of “legitimate”)
2. Abbreviated security check involving full legal name, Social Security number, and date of birth only.

So, yes, Dowd was talking about two different passes. She was denied a permanent pass, despite successfully fulfilling all five of the requirements. Jeff Gannon got a daily pass every day for two years straight, despite partial fulfillment of requirement #1 and using a psuedonym for requirement #2.

Now if Gannon got in for a day or two, or even a month, you might see how there would be a security lapse that allows a gay male prostitute with tax evasion problems using a psuedonym into knife-throwing distance of the president. But two years?

Then Ann takes on the pseudonym angle:

Any day now, Matthews will devote entire shows to exposing Larry Zeigler, Gerald Riviera and Michael Weiner — aka Larry King, Geraldo Rivera and Matthews’ former MSNBC colleague Michael Savage. As a newspaper reporter, Wolf Blitzer has written under the names Ze’ev Blitzer and Ze’ev Barak. The greatest essayist of modern times was Eric Blair, aka George Orwell…

Air America radio host and “Nanny” impersonator “Randi Rhodes” goes by a fake name, and she won’t even tell people what her real last name is…

Democrats in Congress actually demanded that an independent prosecutor investigate how Gannon got into White House press conferences while writing under an invented name. How did Gary Hartpence, Billy Blythe and John Kohn (Gary Hart, Bill Clinton and John Kerry) run for president under invented names? Admittedly, these men were not reporters for the prestigious “Talon News” service; they were merely Democrats running for president.

Ann, he got a daily pass using an invented name. The name “Jeff Gannon”, not “James Guckert” was on his pass. If the people you mentioned had gotten press passes, they would have had “Larry Zeigler”, “Gerald Riviera”, “Michael Weiner”, “Ze’ev Barak”, “Eric Blair”, “Gary Hartpence”, “Billy Blythe”, and “John Kohn” on them. Furthermore, King, Rivera, Savage, Blitzer, Orwell, Hart, Clinton, and Kerry were not changing their name to avoid complications with their gay hooker past (well, except maybe Savage).

Ann concludes with:

Gannon didn’t write about gays. No “hypocrisy” is being exposed. Liberals’ hateful, frothing-at-the-mouth campaign against Gannon consists solely of their claim that he is gay.

Hmm, would that be the article Gannon didn’t write where he defended Senator Rick Santorum’s comments comparing homosexuality to bestiality? Or would it be the headline he didn’t write saying “John Kerry Could Be The First Gay President”? Or would it be him not writing for a “news organization” that publishes other writer’s anti-gay screeds? Or would it be the president to whom he lobbed softball questions who was elected through actively fostering anti-gay marriage sentiment? Nope, no hypocrisy there.

It sure is nice to see Ann Coulter defending gay male hookers. Now if she could only understand “it’s the security, stupid”.