TIME.com: Ann Coulter: What Did She Say?
Egads, the total fellation of the Religious Reich by the mainstream media is nearly complete. After a barrage of Christinsanity covers like “How did Jesus become the Christ” (appropriate newsmagazine coverage for 33 A.D., not 2005 A.D.) we now get (as Pam calls her) “the bony-ass bed-worn bitch of the Reich” on the cover of Time Magazine. The cover does a fine job of illuminating Its spindly skeletal legs topped by Its emaciated body, leading to the straining neck (with prominent Adam’s apple) that supports Its oversized vacuous bobblehead, vaingloriously sneering at all things liberal from beneath Its stringy peroxide locks and double-Tammy-Faye applications of Alice Cooper’s mascara. Of course, she doesn’t like the picture, probably because it was taken by some liberal photographer working for a liberal newsmagazine in liberal New York. I’ll bet the camera wasn’t even American!
(I don’t usually resort to name-calling and mean-spirited attacks about someone’s looks, but It started it. It called Ted Kennedy “an adulterous drunk”, Bill Clinton a “pervert, liar, and a felon”, Helen Thomas “that old Arab”, and liberals like me a “cult”, “idiots”, and “terrorists”. What’s good for the bony-ass bed-worn goose is also good for the gander.)
I suppose it is newsworthy. It writes lots of books and columns that wingnuts really like. It is a regular guest on shows chock full o’ punditry. It apparently speaks for a huge audience. That’s something worthy of a looksee. After all, Adolf Hitler was once their “Man of the Year” because he was influential and newsworthy, not because he was good, right, intelligent, or popular.
In the interest of illuminating my Writ readers to the erudite observations it contributes to the political dialogue, here are some of Its quotes:
“We should invade their [Muslim] countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren’t punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That’s war. And this is war.”
“When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors.”
“Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.”
“The only beef Enron employees have with top management is that management did not inform employees of the collapse in time to allow them to get in on the swindle. If Enron executives had shouted, ‘Head for the hills!’ the employees might have had time to sucker other Americans into buying wildly over-inflated Enron stock. Just because your boss is a criminal doesn’t make you a hero.”
“I take the biblical idea. God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God says, ‘Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.’“
“Cheney is my ideal man. Because he’s solid. He’s funny. He’s very handsome. He was a football player. People don’t think about him as the glamour type because he’s a serious person, he wears glasses, he’s lost his hair. But he’s a very handsome man. And you cannot imagine him losing his temper, which I find extremely sexy. Men who get upset and lose their tempers and claim to be sensitive males: talk about girly boys. No, there’s a reason hurricanes are named after women and homosexual men, it’s one of our little methods of social control. We’re supposed to fly off the handle.”
“My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”
“I have to say I’m all for public flogging. One type of criminal that a public humiliation might work particularly well with are the juvenile delinquents, a lot of whom consider it a badge of honor to be sent to juvenile detention. And it might not be such a cool thing in the ‘hood to be flogged publicly.”
“I don’t know. Have liberals seen our guys? Engaging in mind-boggling acts of heroism makes our brave servicemen happy. Camel-riding nomads may excel at the sucker punch, but wait until they see Western Civilization’s response.”
“Liberals hate America, they hate ‘flag-wavers,’ they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam (post 9/11). Even Islamic terrorists don’t hate America like liberals do. They don’t have the energy. If they had that much energy, they’d have indoor plumbing by now.”
“There are a lot of bad Republicans; there are no good Democrats.”
“I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. Boom!… They’re a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to… the world.”
“Press passes can’t be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the president.”
