Now for analysis of the outcome:
In the race between candidates whose last names start with four or more consonants:
Arnold Schwartzenegger 3,694,436
Tom McClintock 1,014,895
George Schwartzman 10,880
Bob McClain 2,498
Mike Schmier 1,347
It would seem that in this race, the more consonsants in your name, the better.
The large-breasted blonde race:
Mary (Carey) Cook 10,017
Angelyne 2,256
Voters clearly indicated a preference for a governor they’ve seen “in flagrante delecto” to one they’ve only seen on a billboard.
The C-List celebrity race:
Gary Coleman 12,631
Leo Gallagher 4,844
A clever catchphrase beats melon smashing every time.
The no-not-THAT-one race:
David Robinson 5,720
Edward Kennedy 2,571
Richard Simmons 1,214
Michael Jackson 658
Robert Dole 234
A non-basketball player collected more votes than two non-politicians, a non-diet guru, and a non-King of Pop.
The funny names that start with a “V” race:
Van Vo 5,710
Vik Bajwa 994
Vip Bhola 501
If you’re going to start with a “V”, you might as well go all the way.
The sex, drugs, & rock’n’roll race:
Larry Flynt (porn publisher) 15,350
Mary Cook (porn star) 10,017
Bruce Margolin (marijuana activist) 7,940
Nathan Walton (Bill’s kid, pro-pot) 1,540
Porn beats pot, but nothing beats porn AND pot!
The couldn’t get 200 out of 8,000,000 votes race:
Gene Forte 194
Todd Lewis 172
I wonder if Lewis will demand a recount?
“Radical” Russ — even if Bustamante got every single vote that went to the 4th – 135th candidates, he still would have lost 3,694,436 to 2,913,969… So either Arnold won overwhelmingly, or the Republicans were smart enough to fix the Diebold touch screens and optical scanners to give Schwarzenegger a recount-proof lead…
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