Didn’t Bill Maher joke about this in his “New Rules” segment on “Real Time” this season?
USNews.com: Washington Whispers (1/31/05): Bubba For Arnold
Here’s the long shot of the year: Congressional Democrats will OK a constitutional amendment allowing naturalized citizens like California Gov. Arnold Schwarzen egger to run for president if Republicans help kill the 22nd Amendment barring third terms, thus clearing the way for another bid by Bill Clinton and, presumably, President Bush. Right now it’s the talk among political strategists, but look for it to spread on Capitol Hill when Sen. Orrin Hatch reintroduces his plan to let naturalized citizens run for president after 20 years.
Oh, yes, Maher did come up with this:
And finally, New Rule: Let the two men America really wants to see run for president, run for president. [applause] [cheers] Now, last week, our old buddy, Dana Rohrabacher, introduced a Constitutional amendment suggesting immigrants like, oh, I don’t know, Arnold Schwarzenegger—[laughter]—be allowed to run for president. And I say, “Fine. But then we get Clinton !” [applause] [cheers] Each tribe gets its greatest warrior.
Why aren’t we doing that anyway? Where is the twisted logic to the 22 nd Amendment which says you can’t be president if you’ve done it twice? Reese Witherspoon has done two “Legally Blonde” movies. [laughter] Next time, does it have to be Li’l Kim? [laughter] [applause]
And in a nation of immigrants, we tell immigrants they can’t run? Sorry, Arnie, you can take that, “What a country! Immigrants’ dream, anything’s possible” crap and put it where it belongs: in a speech nominating a former town drunk from Texas . [applause] [cheers]
I mean, not to be cruel to the candidates we have, but why are we preventing ourselves from selecting from the top of our political gene pool? Even under general anesthesia, Clinton was more exciting than Kerry. [laughter] [applause] This guy couldn’t light a crowd on fire with napalm. [laughter] But a debate between Bill Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger? You could put that on pay-per-view! [laughter] [applause] Why, you could put that on the Spice Channel! [laughter]
And that’s the beauty of this match-up. They would have to stick to the issues, because the personal stuff would just be too devastating. [laughter] The mudslinging would have to get way too nuanced. “I never lied under oath about the asses I grabbed!” [laughter] We’re talking about two dudes who’ve smoked pot and love cigars and hummers. [laughter] [applause] It would be the “you don’t want to go there” election. [laughter] [applause]
So that’s my proposal. The 22 nd Amendment for the Article Two. And then we can bring it on. The Terminator versus the “Sperminator.” [laughter] [applause] [cheers] “Conan versus Onan.” “Alien versus Predator.” [laughter]
Get well, Mister President. I’m serious about this.
If we’re going to get serious political strategies from our comedians, I nominate George Carlin to provide the next few…
