From the most recent Real Time with Bill Maher

“Well, I’ve been – I’ve been worrying about God a little bit lately. You know, it seems as if he’s been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. And it seems like he’s been in a bad mood, you know. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he’s been getting. You know, if you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I’d need to destroy something.” — Salman Rushdie

“That old-fashioned philosopher Karl Marx used to say that religion was the opiate of the masses. Now it’s the crystal meth of the masses.” — Salman Rushdie