So we are getting prepared for our live TV show. It’s always hectic. People running about, setting up stage and lighting and cameras. I clip on my lavalier mic and we do our sound check. We test the telephones to make sure we’ve got incoming and outgoing signal. I get up and unclip my mic and go get a digital clock so we can stay on time. Thirty seconds to air. I get back into my seat. Here we go!…

I forgot to re-plug in my microphone.

So, for the first forty minutes, the crew in the control room is frantically trying to adjust audio, unsure of why my voice is coming in so faintly. Luckily my voice projects well, so I was caught on the other two microphones. Still, when they finally figured out what was up and a stage hand comes in to pantomime “your mic is unplugged!”, I turned redder than freshman’s zit before the prom (I’m still trying out my new Dan Rather Metaphor Generator… it’s got a few kinks to work out…)

Then, we go asking for call-ins to the show, and we weren’t getting a single call. It was a nice day in Portland, but c’mon, we’re a show about marijuana law reform. There had to be someone in our audience — we’re not all known for being the most outdoorsy types.

It wasn’t until after the show when we met up with Madeline’s husband that he tells us, “hey, I tried to call in to the show, but I got the ‘show you’re calling in to is not live’ message.” Someone failed to turn off the message.

Well, that’s volunteer-run cable access TV for you. It was our last show of the season, and we’re making some changes for next season. We will get these things fixed.