Boy, that sure was some flurry of anti-gay marriage amendments we had last election cycle, wasn’t it? Voters in Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Utah, and Oregon (sadly) all approved anti-same-sex marriage amendments by double-digit margins.
And what was the fear? Why, legitimate gay marriage would send the wrong message to our vulnerable sexually-questioning youth. Read what Pennsylvania’s Republican Senator Rick Santorum had to say about the issue:
“And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does… In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.”
Wow! Who knew that gay marriage would lead to banging kids and shtupping dogs? It’s not enough to ban this at the state level; we need a federal amendment!
Of course, those morally high-minded people of the American South aren’t about to wait for the fed’ral gub’mint to outlaw the queers. Georgia and Mississippi have already out-flanked them Carolinians on the gay marriage issue, so they got a-crackin’:
April 15, 2005 – South Carolina Senate approves gay marriage ban
South Carolina: The state Senate approved its version of a constitutional amendment that would bar recognition of same-sex marriages with a 37-1 vote. The lone dissenting vote came from Charleston Senator Robert Ford. Several others just didn’t vote when their name was called.
May 11, 2005 – North Carolina rally calls for gay marriage amendment
North Carolina: Several hundred people rallied at the state Capitol calling for a constitutional amendment that would place a ban on gay marriage. Crackpot Margie Harvell even used the super tired Adam and Steve argument.
But I fear their actions may have been too late. Yes, gay marriage is not legal in either North or South Carolina. However, just the threat of homos seeking federal marriage recognition was enough to overcome the unquestionably pristine Southern moral fiber of one young man:
Charges Against Teen Upgraded After Dog He Allegedly Raped Dies
A Campobello [South Carolina] teen is accused of raping one neighbor’s dog and another neighbor’s two little girls. Now the dog has died and charges against the teen have been upgraded.
Sylvia says she and her husband would not have believed Cory Williamson raped Princess exactly two weeks to the day she died had they not seen it with their own eyes.
“When I got here we were laying on the deck looking at him and he had his pants down and he was doing sexual activity with the dog like a man would do to a woman.”
The Jones family says Princess wouldn’t eat or play anymore after the attack. “She (Princess) couldn’t even sit down, her bottom was swollen sore.”
Funny, I never hear many dog-raping stories coming out of Vermont or Massachusetts. Pretty low divorce rates up there in comparison to the Carolinas, too, I understand.
