OK, it’s June 1st, and it’s time for this aging blogger to take a good look in the mirror. A big mirror.
Yes, as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in “Full Metal Jacket” might say, I am a disgusting fatbody. And with my 20-year class reunion just two months away, I’d better do something about it.
I’ve been big most of my life. I’m six feet tall and other than two periods in my life, I’ve always been overweight, or obese, if you buy the government BMI-based ratings, which I think are ridiculous. According to these standards, at 6’0″, 280lbs., I have a BMI of 38, and anything above 30 is considered “obese”. To reach a “healthy” BMI of 24 (just below their “overweight” standard of 25) I would have to drop 100 pounds.
One of those two periods was at age seventeen. I completed Basic Training, lost my baby fat and packed on muscle. At that point I was 6’0″, 185lbs., and in the best shape of my life. By those BMI standards, I would have been considered overweight. Of course, by these ridiculous BMI standards, about 98% of your average pro football team is “overweight” and about 60% are “obese”, so I don’t put much faith in BMI.
BMI doesn’t consider body types. I have a very “thick” body; my shoulders are broad and my chest is very wide, so much so that out of 500 basic training candidates, I was one of 24 who had to go to the larger x-ray machine at the Army hospital, because my chest wouldn’t fit on the normal x-ray. If I weighed 180lbs., I’d look emaciated and I sure wouldn’t be very healthy. I think 210lbs. would be a healthy goal.
As time wore on, I gained more and more weight. I always thought of myself as a fat little kid and a fat teenager, but now when I look back on those pictures I realize that my self image was very distorted. I kept that self image and lived up to it, growing from about 220lbs. and a 36 waist in my twenties to my current 280lbs. and 44 waist.
The other period in my life, the one shown on the left side of that picture above, was in 2002 when I had first gotten disgusted by my fatitude. I had never tried any sort of diet or exercise program, falsely believing that some people were just born to be fat people. Also, I’m not the most athletic person in the world and so I’m not a huge fan of exercise, and I am a carb junkie.
But after getting married, my wife and I embarked on a 12-week diet and exercise program called Body for Life. The program included an alternating schedule of weight training and cardio work, six days a week for just forty-five minutes, and a diet consisting of six small meals a day featuring fresh fruits and veggies and lots of protein. When I started that program I was 265lbs. Twelve weeks later I was the 215lb. hunk you see in that photo. I lost fifty pounds in three months! I went from a size 44 waist to the size 34 leather pants you see in the photo.
The problem, of course, is that I didn’t stick to it. I was a skinny guy; I didn’t need to worry about diet and exercise anymore! The weight came back within six months, even surpassing my previous 265lbs. on to the 280lbs I weigh today. I believe this is what the experienced dieters call the “yo-yo”.
It’s worse being a fat guy when you’ve once (well, twice I guess) been skinny. I never before realized what a toll my weight was taking on my day to day living. But after being skinny, my fatness feels like a big suit of flesh I’m carrying around. Clothes feel uncomfortable, even when they fit. Walking up hills takes my breath away. And now my back is starting to ache chronically.
Now the problem is that I have no excuses left. I know that I can lose the weight. I know just how to do it. The problem is the want to. Even as I was losing the weight in 2002, I hated the exercise. It bores me and sweating makes me feel gross. I’ve heard some people talk about some “runner’s high” or “workout zone” they get into that is pleasurable; I never found it. I hated every barbell I lifted and every mile I ran on the treadmill. And the diet? I really don’t mind healthy meals; they’re just a pain to put together when a frozen pizza is so easy. And frozen pizzas are cheaper than healthy meals, too.
But now it’s time to buckle down and just do it. My back can’t take much more of this gut and there are other health concerns that have me worried. Besides, I’d really like to be able to wear the clothes from that skinny wardrobe I bought back in 2002; they look a lot better than my fat clothes.
My reunion is eight weeks away. I’d like to lose thirty pounds by then. I’ll keep y’all posted.
