Utah governor signs Net-porn bill | CNET News.com: Utah’s governor signed a bill on Monday that would require Internet providers to block Web sites deemed pornographic and could also target e-mail providers and search engines.
The controversial legislation will create an official list of Web sites with publicly available material deemed ‘harmful to minors.’ Internet providers in Utah must provide their customers with a way to disable access to sites on the list or face felony charges.
The reasons why this is technologically and practically impossible are too numerous to list here. Suffice to say this law is very similar to a Pennsylvania law that has already been struck down as unconstitutional.
Why oh why can’t censors understand the law of supply and demand? They have the same idiotic mindset as the War On (Some Americans With Certain Non-Pharmaceutical) Drugs — fighting the supply. People want drugs and people want porn and you cannot legislate that market out of existence. Of course, the true solution is to have mommy and daddy take that PC out of junior’s room and set it up in the living room where the screen can be seen easily by mommy and daddy as they watch TV. But that would be sooooo personal responsibility and limited government, and we can see how much the Republicans and the Religious Reich hate those values.
I’m reminded of my wife’s experience at a DirecTV call center. She was the supervisor, so when the angry customer was sick of hearing “no” from the frontline rep, Iva got to take the call. The two calls she received most often were similar to these (and are most funny if you imagine the caller with a thick Ozark accent):
The “TV Is A Utility” Call
Caller: Why did you turn off my TV?
Iva: Because you haven’t paid the bill for three months.
Caller: Well, what am I supposed to do now? I’ve got four kids!
Iva: Have you heard of “books”, ma’am?
The “We Would Never Order Porn” Call
Caller: I’m not paying for these filthy movies you put on my bill!
Iva: We didn’t “put” anything on your bill. Someone in your household ordered “The Sopornos”, “Doogie Plows-her MD”, and “Amazing Anal Adventures #38” last weekend.
Caller: No one in our household would order this disgusting filth! We’re a good Christian family! There must be a mistake!
Iva: Well, either your husband or kids ordered these movies and haven’t told you, or someone has figured out how to hack into the global DirecTV computer system and is placing false pornography charges onto your bill. Why don’t you have a little talk with your good Christian family while I research the statistical improbability of someone having a grudge against you and the technical expertise to hack our world-class, firewalled, expert-IT-supported systems.
(OK, so I paraphrased my wife’s responses… just a little bit.)
