I was reading a post on Dave Barry’s blog about a wacky scientist who invented a device that could see through walls. Part of the story mentioned that France had invested some money into the project. In the blog comments, eventually there came the inevitable French bashing. I’ve really had it with the anti-French attitude in the US. So I chimed in:

Dave Barry’s Blog: Hey, folks, great posts! But there’s not quite enough French-bashing going on here. It is the duty of every proud American to remind the rest of us how repugnant the French are. I mean, besides giving us the Statue of Liberty, helping us not get our ass kicked by a superior British force in the Revolutionary War, and providing the philosophical framework for the Enlightenment, thereby igniting our spark of freedom, liberty, and democracy… what have the French done for us lately?

Well, first of all, they surrendered to the Germans in WWII. We had to bail them out for that one. Sure, they might complain that had we not been so isolationist during Hitler’s forays into other European countries, the Nazis may never have made it to France. And they might point out that most of their fighting-age men had been wiped out in WWI. But that’s just surrender-monkey talk for ya.

Then of course there is their notorious penchant for being snobby and rude to American tourists, which is so undeserved, considering that American tourists are the most thoughtful people when it comes to the customs and culture of others.

Finally, there’s their obstinant opposition to our military foray into Iraq. Time is proving them to be so wrong about that whole ‘quagmire’ business.

Lousy French and their stinky cheese and stinky armpits!

‘Radical’ Russ Belville (or Belleville, as my French Huguenot ancestors spelled it…)