Yesterday, the Attorney General confirmed that a sign declaring that Black, brown, and white kids are all welcome in Idaho’s schools violates Idaho law.
Since nothing is too politically impossible to imagine these days, here’s my imagination run wild on how we get to eighty-five U.S. states through state separatist movements, with links to actual historical attempts to create these new states.
For example, this fine neckbeard, replete in his “Long Bunch Of Text On A T-Shirt That The Facebook MAGA Algorithm Showed Me That Says Something Bad About Liberals,” his 9mm pistol strapped to his waist in case one of those grandmas across the street in a Pride cape is secret Antifa infantry, tattoos down his arm that explain his particular pride in the original Germanic runes, and a black-and-white striped Straight Pride Flag.
When Jason Aldean says “there is not a single lyric in the song that references race or points to it” and “there isn’t a single video clip that isn’t real news footage,” it’s like noting that the White Power symbol is just an OK sign and that All Lives Matter.
My contemporaries were terrified (correctly) that eventually bars would replace live musicians with live drunks singing poorly to karaoke. “Yeah,” I agreed, “the shitty ones. The best musicians, though, will always have gigs.” Turns out, I was right.
“You didn’t used to see them out in public like five years ago,” he told me. “But last time I’m out at a Trader’s Joe” (that’s how he said it) “and you see these women dressed up in beekeeper suits,” he said referring to the traditional Muslim garb known as the niqab.
I specifically stood in the cold to avoid the standing in a huge indoor snake queue full of COVID-carrying humans, goddammit. What the hell is VIP for plasma donation?
I know all y’all don’t see how the pendulum could ever swing back now on marijuana legalization. But I have very good friends in marijuana legalization who were certain it would be legal by 1980. I also remember well how ubiquitous cigarette smoking used to be, and not a single cigarette smoker was arrested to make it the huge taboo it is today.
There is a small list of things that, as Red State Refugee, I prefer about Idaho to Oregon. Better license plates (7 letters over 6). College football (go Big Blue!). Street addressing (seriously, Medford, what’s with the hidden houses in people’s backyards?). But high on the list is Boise’s approach to homelessness.