Stupid 2013: Cops Are Not Your Pals
It’s the end of the year and while many esteemed cannabis media are giving you lists of the best of 2013, I prefer to take a look at the stupid. Catch up with Stupid 2013: Obey Traffic Laws & STFU and Stupid 2013: Cell Phone Shenanigans to learn from the careless mistakes of other tokers from the past year.
It is frustrating to have to explain that police officers are not your friend. The reason they give you that “right to remain silent” is because “anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” The cops’ job is to collect as much of that evidence as possible and for some reason, tokers like these help them.
Like Jonathan Moreno in South Hempstead, New York, who was profiled by cops on burglary patrol. They saw him peering into a parked 2005 Toyota at night. Moreno helpfully explained that the car was his own and he could show them registration and title to prove it. Why he invited them into his home to retrieve the documents when he had his digital scale, pot, and a pipe sitting out in plain view is a mystery. A search later turned up six pounds of pot and almost $27,000.
Or Shankenia Grant, who was stopped for running a stop sign in Georgia. When cops smelled pot in her car and asked if she had any, she told them she had just smoked it all. Not surprisingly, since she had just admitted to possessing contraband, the police searched her car and found a little over a gram, which in Georgia is a misdemeanor that can get her a year in jail.
At least Grant smoked all hers before the cops arrived. Matthew More of Totowa, New Jersey was hot-boxing his car at 1:30 in the morning one summer night. When the cop on patrol spotted the suspicious parked car and pulled up alongside, More blew his smoke right out of his window and into the patrol car’s window.
And I’m not sure what’s going on in Northern New Jersey, but four more young men also from Totowa win my award for Stupid 2013 when one of them goes to the state police to pick up paperwork for an impounded car. While his three buddies are waiting for him, they decide to spark up right in the state troopers’ parking lot. When a cop headed out for night patrol smelled the herb, he found and busted the three of them. The guy who’d come to pick up his car from the state police was also holding and was busted as well.
If you’ve got pot, especially lots of it and evidence of sales, you need to treat cops like a swarm of angry bees – keep your mouth shut, don’t make any sudden movements, and get away from them as soon as possible. Don’t bring them into your house, blow smoke at them, or mess around at their hive. You wouldn’t want to ruin your buzz.