Stupid 2013: Leave Your Weed at Home
Concluding my look back at the stupid ways got themselves busted (See also: cell phones, STFU, animals, anger, and friendly cops) I have to make mention of the people who love their weed so much they have to take it everywhere they go. I understand wanting to carry some pot with you on your way to the party, a friend’s house, or as a delivery. However, considering the risk you’re taking with your freedom in most states, you should really reconsider if you’re thinking about taking your stash with you to…
Court: I could write an entire article on the people who went to the courthouse with weed. Let’s just pick Jovon Graham of South Carolina, who went to court on a marijuana possession charge while holding. After he was sentenced to half of his $813 fine or face 70 days in jail, the bailiff searches him, finds his weed, and Graham was promptly taken to jail on a second possession charge.
The US Capitol: Bethany Joy Adams was touring our nation’s capital, Washington DC, and decided to visit the capitol to see the House of Representatives. Capitol security decided the pipe and bag of weed in her purse earned Adams a visit to jail. You know they search people in places like this, right?
The Cop’s House: Blake James Roy of Texas parked his car in the fire lane at his apartment complex. When he notices his car was towed, he took his small child with him to knock on the door of the apartment security guard. When the guard, who also happened to be a Texas cop, noticed the joint Roy had behind his ear, Roy split, leaving his kid behind, only to be arrested seconds later when the cop ran him down.
Your Job at Burger King: OK, I can understand the need to blaze up to handle working fast food; it’s a stressful, slave-wage, thankless gig (I know). Just take better care than the unnamed guy in Dundee, Michigan, who hid his pipe in a Kid’s Meal box. Next thing you know, a nice grandpa buying lunch for his four-year-old grandson is wondering “Just what kind of prizes are appropriate for kids in this burger kingdom?” and the 23-year-old burger flipper is taking a ride in a cop car.
There are so many others I could add but if we could just eliminate the tokers taking weed to court, there would be a full one percent reduction in American stupid.