Brock Lexington for 420RADIO Sports
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I’m Brock Lexington from 420RADIO Sports! Colorado! Washington! Legal marijuana! Denver! Seattle! Super Bowl! More like Stoner Bowl. Loda Bowl. Alpaca Bowl. Green Bowl. Doobie Bowl. Smolka Bowl. The Real Bud Bowl.
This is no jive and I’m going to be blunt about this. This Super BOWL gives us the hook-up to gage this country’s spark to legalize marijuana to a tea. If these two defenses can’t keep a lid on the quarterbacks with a sack or two, these two high-powered offenses could shatter the previous record score.
Super Bowl CDXX, features the Seattle THChawks and the Mile High Denver Broncos, brought to you by Bud Light, Miller High Life, and every fast food outlet there is! Performing our national anthem at 4:20pm Mountain Time: Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Mylie Cyrus! (Seriously, the Super Bowl kicks off ten minutes after 4:20pm in Denver.)
This year the coin toss features honorary captains Errl Campbell of the Oilers, Bud Grant, Joe Greene, Trent Green and Ed Budde of the Chiefs, and the Jets 1981 defensive line, the New York Sack Exchange.
The Mile High Broncos win the toss, but are plagued on their opening series by calls for holding. This probably stems from seeds of doubt about long-term employment prospects for the guards. Peyton Manning eventually passes the bomb around his circle of receivers, only to be denied by THChawks dropping into a dime on 4th & 20 with safeties meeting at the point of the catch.
On to the Halftime Show, featuring Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, the Black Crowes, Cannabis Corpse, the Kottonmouth Kings, Cypress Hill, and, of course, very special guests… wait for it… the Doobie Brothers!
In the second session, the THChawks are rolling Marshawn Lynch between the hash marks. The frigid Giants Stadium is no hot box and it puts pressure on the knee joints. Just as Russell Wilson is in the shotgun, the O-line gives up a fat sack. Both teams are playing on grass, making it easier for linebackers to stalk the half-back who leaves the backfield on a zip route.
In the end, these two teams were cashed. The score was tied with 4:20 remaining. It came down to the THChawks’ kicker who, not to wax eloquently, was like buddah as he nailed the winning kick as the clock snuffed out. The stoner football gods were kind to Seattle as Denver was shorted, 7-10. I’m Brock Lexington with your 420RADIO Super Duper Doobie Bowl Report! Now, back to Ed Forman!