Missouri just passed the first amendment to any state constitution to strictly define marriage as between one man and one woman. Or in other words, to ban gay marriage. Not only that, but it wasn’t even close, something like 70-30.
How disappointing. With that kind of mandate, Missourians should have really gone for the whole enchilada on this one. They banned gay marriage, but they didn’t go far enough and ban gay cohabitation, gay adoption, and gay hand-holding. After all, what about the children! Why, some youngster in the city might be innocently walking down the street when he sees a couple of men dancing around like a couple of Kansas City faggots! (Too bad I can’t type in “Slim Pickens Blazing Saddles” font, that would really sell the joke here…)
What about a kid who finds out that his best friend has two daddies that live together? How will our children learn that only heterosexuality is approved of in Missouri? Why, if his friend is nice and his daddies are kind and responsible adults, our children might start to think that those homosexuals aren’t so evil after all!
And what about the gay TV shows and movies? If our children see “Will & Grace”, “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy”, or the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, how will we explain to them that funny and likable characters like Will and talented real-life personalities like Carson Kressley and Sir Ian McKellan aren’t to be admired for they are godless Sodomites!
Missouri, you haven’t gone far enough. Not letting the gays marry just means that they will still be around, living in sin, trying to pass off their disgusting lifestyle as normal, and recruiting our children to their style of perversion. It’s only a matter of time before our children begin to engage in secret loathsome experiments with their pet gerbils!
It’s time for the Constitutional amendment 70% of Missourians really want enacted: “The Citizenship of the State of Missouri shall only be conferred upon those citizens who profess sexual desire for members of the opposite sex. No laws enacted by this state shall recognize any rights for pole smokers, butt pirates, nancy boys, drag queens, diesel dykes, or she-males. All non-citizens of Missouri shall be expelled from the state forthwith on a non-air-conditioned bus straight to San Francisco.”
“Radical” Russ — Ugh, I think I’ve exhausted my irony supply for the day…
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