The House Oversight Committee has released the Jeffrey Epstein 50th Birthday Books. Much of the focus has been on Donald Trump’s blatant lie about that being his signature on the infamous sketch of a young girl accompanying the “wonderful secrets” teleplay written within it. I’ve seen a few of the more salacious cartoons and photos posted online. But I thought it would be good to get the lowlights of the entire book, to set the context for just who Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Alan Dershowitz, and others were pals enough with to send personalized birthday wishes.
The entire upload by Rebecca Falconer of Axios can be found on Document Cloud here: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/26086361-request-no-1/. I’m transcribing the lowest parts for those who find the cursive difficult to read. Click any of the headings to get the transcription and the relevant page from the House exhibits.
“I tell them with knife in my hand to take suits off”
We picked up girls on beach – went out on boat. I tell them with knife in my hand to take suits off.
“We’re both in bed porking some girls”
I was porking some girl in bed & Jeff brings in the maid to make bed she left screming & never came back
Were both in bed porking some girls I said what Do you think, while he’s shoving penicillin down my throat.
“Don’t you have any pretty one’s”
Jewish singles weekend
Sit us down at table with ugly girls & I told them Don’t you have any Pretty one’s”
We get in room Jack says Dont touch my hair, you dump water right on his head then we set room on fire.
throwing food in Dining Room, No one would serve us – so they put us by kitchen.
Gave us all our money back & told us to leave & never come back
“Probable just 17”
_____ & _____
Two very young girls probable just 17 & were riding in my fathers Caddy, Park Ave top down smooching it up in car. Drop dead laughing.
“Make her take her top off so we could touch her boobs”
_____ the Rabbi’s Daughter
Jeff would call the house Rabbi’s voice & say this is _____ father.
I would bring her up to your mothers house & make her take her top off so we could touch her boobs
Her & _____ would play together with toys
“Blonde, Red or Brunette, spread out geographically”
A V.F.P.C.* is something to be
A V.F.P.C. is something to see
A Liver, a Lover, a Jeff, a Jeffrey
Let’s all give a cheer, for today he’s Fifty!
Five decades, L, of half century
By Birds and by Bucks, C’s and M’s are his key
Blonde, Red or Brunette, spread out geographically
With this net of fish, Jeff’s now ‘The Old Man and The Sea’
Teaching math, trading options or foreign currency
Green eyeshades, schemes and plans, a unique tax strategy
Wet dream and cauchemar, an architect’s wild spree
Moscow, Paris, Santa Fe, Alhambra East jamboree
Maxwellian delight, a mother’s treasure, great joy surely
Harvardian patron, brain researcher, for extending wannabe
Outrageous, iconoclastic, unconventional, spirit free
Best of all, a Dear Friend, Happy Birthday Jeffrey!
Love and Kisses, Leon
*Vanity Fair Poster Child
Bill Clinton on Epstein’s “childlike curioisity”
Alan Dershowitz lobbies Vanity Fair to focus on Bill Clinton
As a birthday gift to you, I managed to receive an early copy of the Vanity Unfairarticle. I talked them into changing the focus from you to Bill Clinton, as you will see from the enclosed excerpt. Happy birthday and best regards.
“Its hard to tell the difference between the girls and the hogs in Southeast Iowa.”
It’s no secret that Jeffrey appreciates beautiful women. But not many people know that he can create them out of thin air — at least he did in Iowa in 1988.
At the time, I was managing the money of the Zimmerman family, and they lived in Fairfield Towa, a town of less than 10,000 people between Ottumwa and Burlington. Hog farming is a serious industry there, and many feel there is more than a little truth to the saying that its hard to tell the difference between the girls and the hogs in Southeast Iowa.
I had invited Jeffrey to come to Fairfield to see our investment operations, meet the Zimmerman family, and learn more about their major charitable projects. He asked about the nightlife and we could only laugh as we dropped him off at the local motel. The next morning a group of 4 of us picked up Jeffrey to give him a tour of the area. At our first stop we parked in front of a bookstore. As we were getting out of the car, a spectacular tall blonde woman suddenly come out of the store, walked directly past us and up to Jeffrey and announced: “I am new to this area, what’s going on?”.” It turned out she was a sales representative for a firm selling academic branded athletic clothing, and she was literally driving through Towa visiting local campuses. Jeffrey invited her to join us, and did his magic. Within a few hours, he had invited her to return to New York with him for the weekend.
The guys in the car we astonished to even see such an attractive lady in Fairfield, amazed that she passed over them to meet Jeff, and were speechless when she agreed to come to New York. I’ll admit to wondering at the time whether Jeffrey somehow arranged the whole episode through some long distance escort service. But the following week I happened to be in Manhattan and Jeffrey asked me to give her a ride back in our company plane, giving me a chance to speak with her for a few hours. She was the real McCoy.
“Pulled _____ skirt up to her panties and put his hand on her pussy”
Was speaking to BB last night before writing this e-mail and we both agreed that we were at a loss to decide which of the hundreds of hilarious incidents to pinpoint for you, there are just too many. Inspecting the Royal School girls dorms, chasing rabbits with Toto in the old mans dino, trying to get _____ husband out of the way in Manila, blocking Ogilves loo with the illegal goose at Barings wedding, doing three point turns in the tunnel in HK when we asked the Mandarin driver to find us some girls, dancing the night away in the Tin Mine in KL, massage classes at Wraxall….. and so on and so on it brings tears to my eyes.
However, there was one evening which I always recall had you howling with laughter. We were in Harry’s Bar in London you, me, the old man, Toto, _____, and the usual extraordinary group of camp followers in Lord Long, Ian Cruikshank, etc etc. Somehow, Toto got it in his head that _____ was a call girl that doggie had fixed him up with. After dinner we all went off to Tramps and Toto and doggie got into the back of doggies car with _____ sitting between them. Toto grinning happily at the old man reached down and pulled _____ skirt up to her panties and put his hand on her pussy. The old man smiled sweetly leaned over stuffed his hand into her pants so that Toto found his finders playing with doggies. Suddenly the awful truth sunk in but Toto was too shocked to remove his hand so they drove to Tramps with both of them still trapped in _____ knickers.
The 1983 / 2003 Cartoon
“Sells fully depreciated ____ to Donald Trump for $22,500”
Jeffrey showing early talents with money & women! Sells “fully depreciated” _____ to Donald Trump for $22,500. Showed early “people skills” too. Even though I handled the deal I didn’t get any of the money on the girl!
“Jeffrey at half a century… has avoided the penitentiary”
Who is that bum over there / Why it’s Jeffrey, I declare / The man of means / in sweat shirt and jeans / At a black tie formal affair.
To add to life’s piquancy / Jeffrey, with increasing frequency / on any occasion / with little persuasion / Will outrage public decency.
I have heard that Jeffrey will act / With morals, decorum, and tact / with honor, good will / and truth, but forsooth / This information may be inexact.
As far as I can detect / Jeffrey seems to select / To express his mood / Terms rude, crude, and lewd / and politically incorrect.
Jeffrey at half a century / with credentials plenipotentiary / though up to no good / whenever he could / had avoided the penitentiary.
Donald Trump “another wonderful secret”
Voice Over: There must be more to life than having everything.
Donald: Yes there is, but I won’t tell you what it is.
Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Donald: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday—and may every day be another wonderful secret.
Donald J. Trump
“I wanted to get you what you want…”
I wanted to get you what you want… so here it is….
“I have met Prince Andrew, President Clinton, Sultan of Brunei, Donald Trump”
Before Jeffrey, I was a 22 year old divorcee working as a hostess in a hotel restaurant………
After Jeffrey, I now live in New York City, have traveled to Paris, London, Milan, Copenhagen, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Stockholm, China, Singapore, Brunei, Bangkok, Bali, Ghana, Nori, Mozambique, Rwanda, South Africa, Morocco, Ireland, St. Tropez, Florida’s. Barts, St. Thomas, St. John, New Mexico, Moscow, St. Petersburg, Aspen…
I have met Prince Andrew, President Clinton, Sultan of Brunei, Donald Trump, Antonio Verglas, Naomi Campbell, Stephanie Seymour, Peter Brant, Kevin Spacey, Chris Tucker, Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, brilliant scientists, lawyers and business men,
I have flown on the Concorde, gone sky-diving, taken a flying lesson, been scuba-diving, para-sailing, attended a Victoria’s Secret fashion show, seen the private quarters of Buckingham Palace, sat on the Queen of England’s throne, rode on a race-track with Max Papis, learned countless skills…
